As soon as the word flashed up on the screen a bitter voice in my head laughed.
“You’re the worst at continuing,” it said, its sneer reverberating through my brain.
The voice is right. I start all these brilliant ideas with good intentions, but eventually they all…fizzle out. Some last weeks, months even. Some don’t even get to the three-day mark. It’s almost an inevitable outcome to something I supposedly ‘set my mind to’. After a while it is doomed to failure.
Last year, I started a Bookstagram account. I was so proud of myself for keeping up with it, and taking part in monthly challenges, and remembering to post! But then, my posting frequency slowed, and I found myself forgetting how much I loved doing it. I started back up again, and got into a routine in the early summer months, but now here we are. Not posting. Again.
I’m not sure why I have such a problem with sticking to things (even this blog has had its ups and downs). My family seem to think that I’m determined, that I’ll start a project and succeed! But honestly, this is rarely the case. In school, yes, I got things done. I did well. But self-motivation is an entirely different thing. Without the deadlines, I’m a mess. Sure, I can tell myself I have to write a post once a week, or post on Instagram every other day – but there’s no urgency behind it. If I don’t do it, so what?
I worry what my life will become if I continue like this. I go through bouts of motivation and determination – but in truth I’m lucky if that lasts a few hours, never mind a few days. I know I need to be better at this. But I just don’t know how.
Any tips would be truly appreciated.
Featured Image | All rights to the owner (I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the source)